Mahou Iinazuke Negima!
by Alzrius
Summary: When Negi arrives in Japan to teach his class, he's finds that he'll be a bit more to them than just a teacher.


Mahou Iinazuke Negima!

(Magic Fiance Negima!)

Alzrius

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, and yet I flagrantly use them anyway! I mock your inability to stop me! Mwahahaha!

* * *

"I'm Negi Springfield, and I'll be your new teacher for the year. I'm very pleased to meet all of you."

Negi bowed to the class, trying not to blush too hard after having fallen for a series of traps when he'd entered the classroom. He'd been so relieved at stopping that eraser from hitting him, that he hadn't noticed the tripwire…or the bucket…or the suction-cup arrows. It had been mortifying to then have Shizuna-sensei fuss over him and scold the girls on his behalf.

The girls of 2-A, for their part, seemed completely nonplussed with what they'd just been told. This little foreign boy was their new teacher? A few students, however, didn't seem quite so flummoxed by the news. Asuna was still glaring, obviously upset about what had happened before class. Across from her, Konoka was trying to give Negi her best "hang in there" smile. In the back of the room, Evangeline A. K. McDowell's eyes narrowed as she focused on the young boy, considering the possibilities of what his being here meant for her. Nodoka Miyazaki just trembled and hoped that the new teacher wouldn't call on her for anything.

Negi fidgeted as the silence stretched out. Was he supposed to be doing something now? "Um…"

"Excuse me Negi-sensei, but if it's alright, I'd like to make another announcement," interrupted Shizuna.

"Oh. Ah, please go ahead," nodded Negi, grateful for all of the eyes in the classroom to be taken off of him. He took the opportunity to retreat behind the large desk that was off to the side of the blackboard.

"Thank you." Walking towards the front of the class, Shizuna smiled and spread her arms wide. "I'd like to offer a big congratulations!' to class 2-A for having been selected for the National Family Incentive Program!"

A confused murmur broke out among the class. The National Family what now?

"As you may know," explained Shizuna, "data suggests that economic growth and prosperity are directly tied to social trends, particularly where familial growth is concerned. As such, earlier this year the Diet approved this trial program to see if it was possible for the government to foster such sentiments among the youth of our nation. Mahora Academy, and subsequently class 2-A, was selected to be the group for this study."

By now, most of the students in the class, and Negi, were staring at Shizuna blankly, having been completely lost. A few, however, were able to keep up, and were starting to get nervous about where this was going.

"As such," smiled Shizuna, not missing a beat, "you are now all officially fiancés of Negi Springfield! Congratulations!" Acting as though she hadn't just dropped a massive bomb on the entire class, Shizuna started clapping. She was the only one.

"WHAT!" was the chorused reaction of the rest of the class. Chaos descended immediately as the bulk of the class leapt to their feet and started shouting questions, denials, accusations, and even a few cat-calls. Negi, for his part, was just staring at Shizuna, his mouth open, completely thunderstruck.

"Now now, settle down everyone." Shizuna waved a hand lightly, never losing her serene smile.

After several minutes, the class eventually came to order. "Thank you. Now, if anyone has questions, I'll take them now." Every hand in the class went up, including Negi's.

"Oh my, let's see." Shizuna looked around for a moment. "Hasegawa-san."

"You can't do this!" screamed Chisame, leaping to her feet and slamming her fist on her desk. "I have rights!"

"Well, that's not a question, but no, you don't. Your parents have rights over you, and everyone's parents here signed the consent forms engaging you to Negi-sensei." From out of seemingly nowhere, Shizuna produced a stack of forms with signatures at the bottom.

"N-no way…" was all the shocked Chisame could utter as she sank back into her seat.

"And for those of you who have permanent residence here, including Aisaka-san, Kagurazaka-san, Karakuri-san, and McDowell-san, the Headmaster has legal guardianship over you, and has signed the forms on your behalf." Deciding it was best not mention how each family had received a sizeable cash bonus for having their daughter participate in the program, and how that meant that the Headmaster had received a quadrupal bonus for the aforementioned students, Shizuna moved on. "Ayase-san."

"Shizuna-sensei, Japan doesn't practice polygamy. How are we all expected to be Negi-sensei's fiancés?" Yue's voice was as calm and unflappable as ever as she asked her question.

"An excellent question, Ayase-san. While you are all engaged to Negi-sensei now, only one of you is expected to marry him. The program lasts from now until you graduate Mahora High School, at which point, if not earlier, Negi will choose the girl he wants to marry, and the engagements to the rest of you will be dissolved after his marriage."

Pausing to make sure that Yue didn't have any follow-up questions, Shizuna moved on. "Kakizaki-san."

"I have a boyfriend!" wailed Misa. "What am I supposed to tell him now!"

"No need to worry, Kakizaki-san, the officials running this program anticipated that some of you would already be in relationships." Misa let out a relieved sigh, thinking she was about to be given an exemption, when Shizuna continued, "And as such, everyone here who had a significant other will find that a letter in your name has been sent to them explaining that you are terminating the relationship to participate in this program."

Misa, along with several other girls, just stared at Shizuna, agape with horror. Eventually finding her voice, Misa managed to gasp, "Y-you're breaking up with my boyfriend…on my behalf!"

"Yes," smiled Shizuna warmly. "Anyone else? Ah, Negi-sensei." Finally noticing that Negi had his hand in the air, Shizuna nodded to him.

"Um…why me?" Negi managed to squeak.

"Ah, well, you were chosen for several reasons, sensei. You're young enough for the program to be particularly suitable, since you'll have several years to decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Since you're the teacher for this class, you're ideally placed to get to know all of the girls. And the officials in charge of this program consider you intelligent enough so that no claim of lack of understanding can be made about the results afterwards. And also, a Miss Nekane Springfield, your legal guardian, called the Headmaster when she heard about this program being enacted and asked for you to be entered. Wasn't that sweet of her?"

Negi's jaw worked up and down, but no sound came out as that particular revelation came to light. Oneechan had entered him in this! Was that the reason he'd been given his assignment to teach English in Japan?

About to ask if there were more questions, Shizuna paused as she heard the school bells ring. "Ah, I have to be getting back to the Nurse's office. All of you have a good day!" Turning to leave, Shizuna paused just before she got to the door. "Oh, I almost forgot. Since this program is enforceable by law, any of you who are caught fraternizing with another boy in a way that could be considered romantic will be subject to a fine of one-hundred-thousand yen per instance. Bye!" And with that, Shizuna left.

Everyone in the room just stared at the door where she had left. Slowly, realizing that she wasn't about to come back in and declare that this was a joke, all eyes slowly migrated to Negi, who wished he had taken the opportunity to hide beneath his desk.

"…um, well, let's take roll…"


End file.
